Monday, October 18, 2010

Date talk - deciphering men's date body talk

A date is the one occasion that a guy will put his best foot forward, so pay close attention to how he presents himself, and treats you and those around you.

Common sense plays a large part, of course. If he's smiling, laughing, easy to talk to, and having lots of eye contact with you, then your date's having a good time.

If, on the other hand, he's constantly looking over your shoulder or staring into space, he's not a happy bunny, and you're better off making your excuses and making yourself available for the next hottie - one who's man enough to date you properly.

Still, sometimes it's easy to overlook the warning signs when you're obsessed with his Brad Pitt looks. And it can be just as common to doubt the positive ones when you really like a guy and are feeling a bit vulnerable.

Either way, first dates should be fun, goddamit! So relax, and enjoy yourself. If it does turn out to be the date from hell, at least you'll be able to have a laugh about it with your friends afterwards.


The good signs to look out for...


He takes the lead

"Does he check you like the kind of venue he's chosen? Does he confirm the date the night before? He's thoughtful and responsible," says relationships expert, Brenda Casa Della. She should know; she interviewed a thousand men for her breakthrough book, Cinderella Was A Liar.


It's in his touch

"If he touches your wrist or hand, it's a great indication that he's comfortable and wants to pursue the relationship," says Julie Shields of www.thedateoutdoors.com. Same applies to things that belong to you - your wine glass or clutch bag, say.

Manners maketh (a hot) man

A genuinely good guy will thank you for a nice time at the end of the evening, and any gal worth her Louboutin's will always do the same. If he walks you to your car, bus or taxi, it's a good indication that he's a gentleman who's thought about your safety and comfort (rather than shooting off to meet his mates).


...And the bad

Mr Jekyll and Hyde

Does he spend the entire evening treating you like a princess but the cab driver and waiter like a giant jerk? That's how he'll be treating you in six months. If he goes on about his big, important job and constantly name drops, then he's an insecure show-off.

Manipulation tactics

That said, look out for Mr Connection - the man who asks you all kinds of personal questions but offers nothing about himself, warns Brenda. "He's probably trying to create a sense of intimacy so that you trust him and go further faster than you normally would. A decent suitor will take you out, open up about who he is, and respectfully find out who you are."

Faking it

Other signs that he's not into you include yawning, fake smiles, forced laughter, asking the same question twice, not asking you anything about yourself, and stalling when you ask what he's doing tomorrow. If he's hard work, he's not worth it.

Never forget...
If he's interested in another date, he'll suggest ringing, texting or fixing a date. And he'll call. It he doesn't, and you still feel he's got potential, feel free to take the lead. Just depends on whether you want to be his lover or his mother in the relationshpi

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