Thursday, June 2, 2011

7 Things that Could Be Killing Your Relationship

Some relationships just aren’t meant to be and you have to let them go. At other times, you know your relationship is the right one for you, but you and your partner can’t seem to make it work. There are many things that can affect a relationship – and many ways to get around them. First, however, you have to pinpoint some of the things that could be killing your relationship, and then you can go about fixing them.

1. Distrust

One of the primary things that could be killing your relationship is definitely a lack of trust. If you don’t have trust, you ultimately don’t have anything. If you constantly suspect your partner of something, or vice versa, then your relationship will wither on the vine. If there are trust issues there, you need to get to the root cause of them – and talk about them. If you are paranoid and there is no cause, especially, you need to get to the bottom of things.

2. Stress

Stress happens; there’s no getting around it. However, if you don’t know how to cope with it or have too much of it, then stress can kill your relationship. There is strong evidence supporting the fact that, in relationships where there is a lot of stress, breakups and divorces are far more common. Find ways to vent, together or apart, even if you have to talk to someone – and remember not to sweat the small stuff.

3. Holding Grudges

I’ll be honest, I have issues when it comes to holding grudges. I’ve still got beef with kids who used to talk smack in high school, and still sometimes come up with comebacks. I know, I know, I need help. You may need some too, if you hold grudges, because that’s one of the things that could be killing your relationship. When either you or your partner hold a grudge against each other, you can’t really build a future together because you’re living in the past. To get over the hump, you need to talk about the reasons you’re holding grudges, even if you need a third party to help you.

4. Lack of Communication

A lack of communication can lead to a lot of problems. If you aren’t talking to each other about anything or enjoying one another’s company, then you simply aren’t going to have any fun. Worse, if you can’t communicate about important issues, it may lead to finally. As well, no communication can cause fights to become worse, because the two of you can’t make each other understand your feelings. Whenever possible, you need to sit down and talk to each other, even about mundane things. Sometimes practice during happy times makes communicating during the rough times much easier.

5. Constant Fighting

Whether you are having serious disagreements or a lot of nitpicking little tiffs, constant fighting is a sure way to kill a relationship. Big fights are awful, but those small fights that are ultimately about nothing are bad as well. The best thing you can do is take some time to yourself, cool down, and look at the situation with perspective. Even when fights aren’t about anything important, they can whittle away at your relationship’s stability.

6. The Ex Factor

Exes don’t have any place in a new, current relationship. The constant present of exes are certainly things that could be killing your relationship. Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t be on friendly terms with an ex, think about him or her, or talk to your partner about a past relationship. What it does mean is that if either you or your partner are hung up on an ex, then your relationship with each other won’t be able to move forward.

7. No Common Interests

I know they say opposites attract … but they also say that like attracts like. You and your partner have to have something in common, even if you don’t share every interest. When you don’t have any common interests, you run the risk of getting bored and drifting apart. Even if the two of you come up with a new hobby together, make sure there is something you can do together, at which you both have fun.

There are many things that could be killing your relationship, but none of them are insurmountable. Clearly, however, communication is key to getting over most of these issues. What methods do you use to communicate better with your partner?