Friday, October 30, 2009

Kutapika wakati wa ujauzito

Kutapika ni dalili inayojitokeza kwa mama mjamzito hasa kipindi cha awali ingawa tatizo la kutapika au kuhisi kichefuchefu linaweza kutokea katika maradhi mengine mbali na ujauzito.

Hali ya kutapika kwa mama mjamzito imegawanyika katika makundi mawili.Kwanza ni kichefuchefu na kutapika wakati wa kipindi cha mwanzo cha ujauzito ( Early pregnancy) na pili ni kipindi baada ya hicho cha awali (Late pregnancy).

Tukiingia kiundani kila kundi limegawanyika katika sehemu mbili.Ingawa hatutazama ndani zaidi,ila jambo la msingi ni kwamba katika hali ya awali (Early pregnancy),kutapika na hali ya kichefuchefu inaweza kuwa ya kawaida na isimletee shida kubwa mama (Morning sickness) na kutapika kidogo (emesis Gravidarum) na kuwa mgonjwa hata asiweze kufanya shughuli nyingine.

Mama huumwa hadi kuishiwa maji mwilini kwa kutema mate,kutapika na kushindwa kula na wakati mwingine hulazwa hospitali, hali hii huitwa kitalaam “Hyperemesis gravidarum.”

Yapo magonjwa mengine yanayosababisha kichefuchefu na kutapika ambayo yanaweza kumpata mama mjamzito na asiye mjamzito.

Magonjwa haya ni kama vile minyoo (Intestrial Infestations) maambukizi ya njia ya mkojo(Urinary Track infections),magonjwa ya ini(Hepatitis),ugonjwa wa kisukari (pale sukari inapokuwa juu) (Ketoacidosis of Diabetes),mkojo kuingia katika mfumo wa damu(uraemia),ugonjwa wa kidole tumbo (Appendicitis),vidonda vya tumbo (peptic ulcer) kuziba kwa tumbo (Intestnal obstruction) matatizo ya nyonga kifuko cha mayai (Twisted Ovarian cyst) na uvimbe katika kizazi (uterine fibroid).

Kutapika kunakoendelea wakati wa ujauzito (late pregnancy) huwa ni muendelezo wa hali hiyo.Tangu mwanzoni hali ya awali (Early pregnancy) hutokea mimba inapokuwa chini ya miezi minne lakini hii hali ya pili ‘Late pregnancy inatokea mimba inapokuwa zaidi ya miezi minne.Hapa mama huendelea tu kutapika na vilevile inahusiana na dalili za magonjwa mengine kama dalili za awali za kifafa cha mimba.


Mbali na maradhi mengine yanayohusiana na tatizo hili la kutapika wakati wa ujauzito,chanzo cha ugonjwa au tatizo hili ni pale mimba inapokuwa changa hadi baada ya kufikisha kati ya miezi mitatu na minne inakoma au ina weza kuendelea hadi miezi sita au hadi mama anapojifungua.

Tatizo hili linaweza kutokea katika mimba ya kwanza tu,wengine hutokea ya pili au wengine hutokea mimba zote.

Hali hii au tatizo hili linaweza kusababishwa na kuwepo kwa kiasi kikubwa cha hormone au kichocheo cha HCG mwilini au Human Chronic Gonadotrophin ambacho kikizidi kinakuwa sumu na kuanza kuchefua mwilini.

Hali ya kisaikolojia (psychogenic) pia huchangia kuamsha kichefuchefu kwa kutotamani baadhi ya vitu au vyakula au harufu.

Mama akiwa na hali hii hasa vyakula vya wanga hasa nyakati za usiku,asubuhi ataamka na njaa na kichefuchefu na kuanza kutapika na kuchoka.

Chakula cha wanga kama wali na ugali ni muhimu kwani vinatia nguvu na joto,vilevile uwepo wa vitamini B za kutosha nao husaidia sana.

Tatizo hili la kichefuchefu na kutapika pia huchangiwa na mzio (Allergies ) mbalimbali na tumbo kutofanya kazi vizuri (Decreased gastric motility).

Hali hii ni tatizo sugu kwa baadhi ya akinamama kwani kila wapatapo mimba inakuwa shida.Tatizo hili linapoanza na ukawahi kumuona Daktari haliwezi kusumbua kwa kiasi kikubwa.

Mgonjwa atachunguzwa kama ana baadhi ya maradhi tuliyoyaeleza au kama kuna hitilafu zozote zilizosababishwa na ugonjwa.Mgonjwa baada ya uchunguzi atapatiwa tiba kadiri daktari atakavyoona inafaa.

Tiba mojawapo ni kuongezewa maji na dawa zitakazomsaidia kuondoa au kupunguza kasi ya kichefuchefu.

Mgonjwa akazane kula hasa vyakula vya jamii ya wanga pale hali inapokuwa nafuu,kunywa maji mengi na mara kwa mara ili hata kama hali hiyo itajirudia awe salama asisumbuke sana.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Top 10 Qualities In Single Men That Drive Women Crazy (According to Women)

Every man wants to know what women want, and here it is in a nutshell—the top 10 qualities that will turn almost any woman on in a heartbeat:

1.Confidence: Women don’t like wimps and wusses. Even those who want to baby you, don’t want you to actually be a baby. A woman needs to know that the man she’s with is self-aware and self-assured. That he knows who he is and what he’s about, and more, that he’s perfectly happy with that.

That’s why it’s the arrogant and cocky guys who get all the girls. Because confidence is cool. And cool is hot!

2.Chivalry – It’s not dead, no matter how much she claims otherwise. It’s not dead and it’ll never die. So by all means, be cool, boy—but also be a gentleman. It’s a tightrope, I know. But you’re playing with the big boys now. So man up and get on that highwire before she cuts the cord.

3.Sense of Humor: Make ‘em laugh, make ‘em laugh, make ‘em laugh. Life is hard, dating is harder. Which is why—whether your wit is sharp and edgy or dry and droll or straight-up goofy—if you can break up the drudgery, frustration, and disappointment of her day with a good, hearty giggle, snicker, chuckle, or guffaw, you’ll have her coming back for more again and again, like a junkie for her fix. Remember guys, to a woman, a little bit of funny covers up a lot of ugly.

4.Spontaneity – Besides being hard, life is also extremely boring most of the time. One day bleeds into another and pretty soon you can’t tell one from the next. That’s why most women crave a little adventure and excitement in their lives—or a lot of it. And guess what, guys? They’re counting on you to be the one to deliver it. Fair? Maybe not. But it’s a fact of life. It’s up to you to come up with ever-new ways to keep her life fresh and exciting. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to whisk her away to an exotic vacation spot (though that certainly doesn’t hurt). You can do it just as easily with a rose on her desk when she shows up at work, or a surprise date on her lunch break. Be creative. Be spontaneous. And whatever you do, do not be boring or predictable.

5.Complimentary: How hard is it to find one new thing about her each day to tell her that you like. That’s all it takes. You don’t have to heap on the flattery to win her heart. In fact it’s better if you spread it out slowly over time. Just try not to repeat yourself too much, or she may stop believing you.

6.The Ability to Listen: It’s no secret that women love to talk. But despite all evidence to the contrary, they’re not just talking to hear themselves speak. They really are talking to you. And they want to know that you hear them. Even if you’re not really interested in what she’s saying, can you at least pretend to be? A few well-placed nods and validating Uh-huh’s can go a long way at times like this. And an appropriate follow-up question can be your greatest ally, because it shows her that you’re really paying attention. But the number one best way to let a woman know you’re listening to her is to make eye contact. Because it’s hard to tune out what anyone is saying when you’re staring straight into their eyes (or so she thinks).

7.Sensuality: Women are body conscious enough for the both of you. So you don’t need to be at all okay? Part of being sure of yourself is being comfortable in your body, which for one thing means comfortable with touch. I’m not talking about groping her here. Sensuality is not the same as horniness, sorry. Nor is seduction the same as coming on to her. No, what I’m talking about here are subtly seductive acts like gently laying your hand atop hers as you’re sitting together, or placing your arm around her shoulders as you’re walking down the street. And to revisit an earlier point—making eye contact is more than just to show her you’re listening. It’s also a highly erotic act. Human being seek pleasure, period. And women want to feel that that’s exactly what the sight of her brings to you.

8.Security: While a woman of today doesn’t quite want a man to take care of her, she does want to know that he can if he has to. And yes, this is partly about money, but not completely. Women want to feel safe with the man they’re with. And while that includes financial security, it also includes emotional security. She wants to know that you’ll protect her tender heart like a priceless jewel. That you’re not going to leave her out in the cold just because she’s pissed you off. And more, that you’re not going to leave her out in the cold because you don’t have the capacity to keep her safe and warm if you wanted to. To do this, you need to show her first and foremost that you can take care of yourself. That’s the only way she can start to trust that you’ll be able to take care of her too. Fortunately, most women, once this trust is established, will gladly return the favor.

9.Fashion Sense: Most men have the fashion sense of a Mr. Potatohead. But most men also have a platonic female friend or two (or at least a sister) who’ll be happy to give him some fashion tips—maybe even a total makeover if you ask really nicely. Take one of them clothes shopping with you if you must. Just don’t underestimate the power of a well-dressed man to make a woman swoon. That means throw out any clothes with holes, pulls, tears, etc. And if you just can’t bear to part with that favorite shirt, make it a workshirt (and that’s housework and yardwork, guys, not what you wear to your day job—jeez!) And by the way, don’t forget about the shoes! There’s a reason why most women have got a closetful of footwear. Because they know that the wrong shoes can ruin an otherwise perfectly smashing outfit.

10.Good Hygiene: You thought I wasn’t going to note down any physical traits here, didn’t you? Well listen up, all you lazy pigs! It doesn’t matter to her if you look like Brad Pitt or Gilbert Gottfried. As any rerun of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” will show you, if there’s one thing a woman can’t stand it’s bad teeth, bad hair, and bad skin (okay, that’s 3 things, but still…). A woman will forgive a lot in a man, but what she won’t put up with for even a second is poor hygiene. So for heaven’s sake (not to mention the sake of your love life) brush your teeth, comb your hair, wash your face, and pluck out those nose- and ear-hairs before you let her see you, would ya? Trust me, by doing so you’ll instantly set yourself apart from 95% of the single guys out there. And believe you me, she will notice.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Kuumwa tumbo wakati wa hedhi - Part 1

Tumbo la hedhi au maumivu wakati wa hedhi (period pains) au kitaalamu dismenorrhea, ni maumivu yanayojitokeza sehemu ya chini ya tumbo au kiunoni wakati mwanamke anapoanza kupata siku zake au kabla ya hapo. Maumivu hayo huweza kuwa madogo au ya wastani huku baadhi ya wanawake wakipata maumivu makali sana. Maumivu ya tumbo wakati wa hedhi huanza pale mayai yanapotoka katika mirija (fallopian tubes) na kuteremka chini ya mirija hiyo wakati wa Ovulation.

Maumivu ya tumbo la hedhi yapo ya aina mbili. Aina ya kwanza au (Primary Dysmenorrhea) ni maumivu yasiyokuwa na sababu zozote za kimsingi za kitiba. Katika aina hii maumivu ni ya kawaida na huhisiwa sehemu ya chini ya tumbo na kiunoni. Maumivu hayo huanza siku moja au mbili kabla ya hedhi na humalizika baada ya siku mbili au nne.

Aina ya pili au (Secondary Dysmenorrhea) ni yale maumivu yanayojumuisha maumivu yanayosababishwa na sababu nyinginezo za kitiba kama vile matatizo katika kizazi, ugonjwa wa nyonga (PID) na matatizo katika mirija ya mayai.

Karibu nusu ya wasichana na wanawake hupata maumivu wakati wa hedhi na karibu asilimia 15 wanasema kuwa hupata maumivu makali. Uchunguzi unaonyesha kuwa kuna sababu mbalimbali zinazoweza kuongeza uwezekano wa kuumwa tumbo wakati wa hedhi.

• Kuwa na umri wa chini ya miaka 20.
• Kuvunja ungo wakati wa miaka 11 au chini ya miaka hiyo.
• Kutoka na damu nyingi wakati wa hedhi. (suala hilo linaweza kusababishwa na matatizo mbalimbali ya kitiba).
• Wanawake ambao hawajawahi kuzaa.

…..Inaendelea… usikose kufuatilia semu ya pili ili kujua namna ya kutibu maumivu hayo.

Mashosti embu oneni uchizi huu loh

Friday, October 23, 2009

Kujitayarisha kabla ya Ujauzito

Kina mama na wanawake wanashauriwa kufanya matayarisho kabla ya kushika mimba. Imeonekana kuwa kufanya matayarisho kabla ya mimba haijatunga kuna faida kubwa kwa mama mwenyewe na mtoto anayezaliwa. Kuutayarisha mwili wa mama kabla hajabeba mimba, huifadhi afya ya mama wakati wa ujauzito hata baada ya kujifungua uwe na faya bora zaidi. Miongoni mwa matayarisho anayotakiwa kufanya mwanamke kabla ya kushika ujauzito ni pamoja na kupima magonjwa mbalimbali kama vile kisukari, presha na ugonjwa wa moyo ili kuona kama ana magonjwa hayo au la. Vilevile mama anashauriwa kujitahidi kuwa na uzito unaotakiwa kwa kuzingatia kimo chake. Yaani asiwe mnene au mwembamba sana kabla ya kubeba mimba bali awe na uzito wa wastani.

Suala hilo linaweza kutekelezwa kwa mwanamke anayetaka kubeba mimba kuhudhuria hospitalini au kuonana daktari mtaalamu wa masuala ya uzazi au mkunga. Daktari wa kawaida pia anaweza kutoa ushauri kuhusiana na suala hilo.
Mimba nyingi hutungwa bila kupangwa, suala ambalo mara nyingi hupelekea mama na hata mtoto aliye tumboni akabiliwe na hatari mbalimbali hasa wakati wa wiki 8 ya mwanzo ya ujauzito. Kwani wakati huo kina mama wajawazito huwa hawafahamu kuwa wana mimba, na wakati wanapotambua na kwenda hospitalini au kumuona daktari au mkunga, muda mwingi unakuwa umeshapita. Mwanamke anapokwenda hospitalini au kumuona daktari kwa matayarisho kabla ya kubeba mimba, huchunguzwa mambo mablimbali.

Baadhi ya mambo hayo ni;

* Uzito aliokuwa nao, kama ni mnene sana hushauriwa kupunguza unene wake kwa kufanya mazoezi na kula vyakula vinavyotakiwa na kama ni mwembamba sana pia hushauriwa kuongeza uzito ili kufikia kiwango kinachotakiwa.

* Hupimwa magonjwa mbalimbali kama vile kisukari na kuangaliwa iwapo ana kisukari aina ya kwanza au ya pili.

* Hupimwa kama ana shinikizo la damu au la.

* Hushauriwa kutumia vidonge vya Vitamini E na C, kula vyakula vyenye Calcium, ufumwele, Magnesium na chuma (Iron).

* Hushauriwa kuanza kutumia vidonge vya Folic Acid na kula vyakula vinavyoweza kuupatia mwili wake mada hiyo. Imeonekana kuwa, Foic Acid humzuia mtoto aliyeko tumboni asipatwe na matatizo ya ubongo na mfumo wa fahamu. Mama mjamzito anashauriwa kuanza kutumia vidonge vyenye faida kubwa vya Folic Acid miezi mitatu kabla ya kutunga mimba.

* Kujiepusha au kupunguza kula vyakula vyenye Kafeini kama vile chai, kahawa, hot chocolate na vinywaji vyenye kafeini kama Coca Cola.

* Kujiepusha au kuacha uvutaji sigara.

* Kupima baadhi ya magonjwa ya kurithi na magonjwa mengineyo kama vile Talasemia, HIV na kadhalika.

* Kufanya mazoezi ili kuutayarisha mwili na kubeba ujauzito. Imeonekana kuwa kufanya mazoezi kabla ya kubeba mimba kuna faida nyingi kwa mama na mtoto anayezaliwa.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Kwanini hufurahii tendo la ndoa?

Kila mada inapotoka nakutana na maswali mengi sana, huwa nayachuja, najaribu kujibu machache.

Lakini kuna maswali mengine huwa yana uzito zaidi, hata kama nikiamua kumjibu muhusika mwenyewe, naona kabisa kuna wasomaji wengine wengine wanaweza kuwa na tatizo kama hilo, lakini wameshindwa kuuliza.

Hiyo ndiyo sababu iliyonifanya leo nijibu baadhi ya maswali ya wasomaji wangu kwenye nikiamini majibu yatakuwa msaada hata kwa wengine wenye matatizo kama hayo. Tuanze na hili hapa chini.

Pole na majukumu yako ya kila siku. Ninalo tatizo moja kubwa linalonisumbua, yaani ninapokuwa na mpenzi wangu faragha sifurahii kabisa mapenzi. Kuna rafiki yangu niliwahi kumuuliza akaniambia labda ni kutokana na kutoniandaa kabla ya tendo lakini ukweli ni kwamba kaka Jose mpenzi wangu huwa ananiandaa vya kutosha, sasa sijui tatizo ni nini? Nimehangaika sana na tatizo hili. Naomba msaada wako. Shose, Dodoma.

Jibu: Pole sana dada Shose, tatizo lako limewakumba wengi, kwanza hujaniambia umri wako, matatizo haya mara nyingi huwatokea wasichana wenye umri mdogo ambao hawajapevuka, pia wakati mwingine unapaswa kuweka mawazo yako katika tendo lenyewe unapokuwa na mpenzi wako.

Pili, mara nyingi wanaoshindwa kufurahia tendo la ndoa inatokana na mapenzi juu ya yule ampendaye. Hivyo basi jaribu kuangalia kiasi gani unavyompenda mpenzi wako, wakati mwingine unaweza kuwa una mawazo mengi.

Hakikisha unakuwa na mwenzi ambaye moyo wako umeridhia kuwa naye, weka akili yako kwenye tendo wakati unapokuwa naye faragha. Epeka kufikiria mtu aliyekuudhi au jinsi ulivyopata matatizo kazini mchana wa siku hiyo.

Kuwa mtulivu kwa kiwango cha mwisho. Wakati mwingine inawezekana mwanaume wako wa kwanza kufanya naye mapenzi, hakukuandaa vya kutosha na hivyo kukuumiza na hivyo kila mwanaume kwako kuhisi anakuumiza.

Kama ndivyo, hili ni tatizo la Kisaikolojia, ambalo linahitaji tiba ya ushauri wa karibu zaidi kuliko dawa! Onana na Mwanasaikolojia aliye karibu na wewe au Mtaalam wa Afya ya Uzazi wa Mwanamke. Vizuri zaidi kuonana na Wataalamu wa Hospitali ya Mkoa wa Dodoma (General Hospital) au Rufaa ambao watakupa msaada zaidi. Kufurahia mapenzi ni haki ya kila binadamu aliyekamilika.

Shikamoo kaka Shaluwa. Mimi ni kijana mwenye umri wa miaka 17, tatizo linalonisumbua ni aibu. Kuna msichana nampenda sana kuanzia nikiwa darasa la sita hadi sasa nipo kidato cha pili.

Ukweli ni kwamba nampenda sana lakini nashindwa kumweleza yaani nina aibu sana. Naomba msaada wako kaka yangu. Natamani sana na mimi kuwa na msichana wangu, lakini domo langu zege jamani! Nisaidie bro. Nakutegemea. Mwenye matatizo, Dar.

Jibu: Marhaba mdogo wangu mwenye matatizo. Pole sana kwa yote lakini nashukuru sana una aibu na ninakuombea uendelee kuwa nazo hadi pale utakapokuwa mkubwa. Kwa umri wako lazima uwe na aibu, hata hivyo huu sio muda wako wa kuhangaika na mapenzi.

Mtoto wa miaka 17, utamudu kuwa na mpenzi kweli? Mpenzi wako kwa sasa ni shule mdogo wangu na siyo ngono. Achana kabisa na mambo ya mapenzi maana yatakuchanganya na utashindwa kufanya vizuri darasani.

Tengeneza maisha yako kwanza kisha mambo mengine yatakuja baadaye, mapenzi hayana maana ikiwa bado hujajua dira ya maisha yako. Soma kwanza, mapenzi utayakuta baadaye. Naamini umenielewa. Masomo mema.

Hi bro! Mimi ni msichana mwenye umri wa miaka 28, nina mpenzi wangu ninayempenda sana lakini kweli amekuwa akiniweka katika wakati mgumu sana kutokana na mambo yake. Kwanza siku hizi amebadilika sana, nikimpigia simu hapokei na hata akipokea huwa anachelewa sana, wakati mwingine anaweza kuzima simu hata siku tatu mfululizo. Nikimuandikia meseji hajibu na ukimuuliza anasema ana kazi nyingi ndiyo maana anashindwa kupokea simu yangu. Je, ananipenda kweli huyu? Naomba unishauri wako.

Jibu: Pole sana mdogo wangu, kwanza naomba ufahamu tatizo hili ni sugu kwa wapenzi wengi wenye mapenzi ya ‘filamu’, wanaojua kuigiza mapenzi lakini hawana mapenzi ya dhati ndani mwao.

Kwa tabia hiyo inaonekana mwanaume unayempenda atakutesa sana maishani mwako, inasikitisha unaposema mpenzi halafu anashindwa kukujali. Mwanaume huyu hajui nini maana ya mpenzi, siku zote mpenzi hatakiwi kuumizwa na anapoumizwa basi anaomba msamaha.

Jaribu kumchunguza taratibu utapata ukweli, hata kama ni ‘ubize’ lazima awasiliane na wewe. Wanaume wengi wamekuwa wakiwaumiza sana wapenzi wao ingawa pia wapo wasichana wenye tabia hizi, utakapogundua mpenzi wako ana uhusiano na mwanamke mwingine ni vema umwache kwasababu utakapofunga ndoa anaweza kukutesa zaidi ya hapo.

Bila shaka mliouliza maswali na hata wale ambao hamjauliza, mmenufaika na majibu haya. Ahsanteni.

Mambo kadhaa yakumfanyia mwenza wako kumsaidia kuvishinda vishawishi!

Kila mwanaume anapaswa kujua nini kinachomfanya mwanamke/msichana apagawe kunako sita kwa sita, hali kadhalika mwanamke anapaswa kufahamu mambo kadha wa kadhaa ambayo akimfanyia mwenza wake atamfanya avishinde vishawishi vya kumsaliti. Hii inamaanisha nini?

Inamaanisha kuwa, kila mwanaume na mwanamke anapaswa kufahamu jinsi gani wanaume walivyo tofauti na wanawake.

Mwanamke anapaswa kufahamu kwamba wanaume huamsha hisia za mapenzi kutokana na kile wanachokiona. Hivyo pindi anapoona msichana mwenye shepu akiwa amevaa nguo inayoiweka shepu yake bayana, ghafla hisia kali za mapenzi humjia, hata kama anajua baadhi ya utu ama tabia zake mbaya.

Kuona tu jinsi binti alivyoumbika, hiyo ni tosha kwake kumfanya ahitaji kuwa naye faragha na hapo ndipo atakapoanza kupigana na mhemuko wa mwili wake kujizuia kuingia katika kishawishi cha kufanya ngono na mrembo aliyemuona.

Kwa upande mwingine, wanaume wanapaswa kufahamu kwamba wanawake wapo tofauti. Hisia za mapenzi za mwanamke huamka pindi mwanaume anapomtimizia mahitaji yake ya moyo wake. Huhisi kupagawa pindi anapokutana na mtu ambaye anaweka kipaumbele mawasiliano baina yao na kujali hisia ama mawazo yake.

Kwa mwanamke muelewa mara nyingi muonekano wenye mvuto pekee kwake haumuingizi kwenye vishawishi kwa kiasi kikubwa kama ilivyo kwa wanaume. Kitu pekee kwake kinachoamsha hisia zake za mapenzi kwa haraka zaidi ni kuwa na mwanaume anayeongea naye, kumsikiliza, kuthamini mawazo yake, na kufikiria mahitaji yake muhimu. Pindi mwanaume wa aina hii anapomwambia “ Nakupenda..muache mumeo tutumia usiku wa leo pamoja,” huhitaji kutumia busara na hekima kuweza kuvishinda vishawishi vya kutoa penzi kwa mwanaume wa aina hiyo!

Aidha, watu wengi walio katika mahusiano hujikuta wakikumbwa na matatizo kadha wa kadha wawapo faragha kwa sababu tu mwanaume na mwanamke hawajui tofauti iliyopo baina ya mwanaume na mwanamke. Mfano, mwanamke anaweza kupanda kitandani akiwa amevaa pajama ambalo halioneshi shepu yake huku mwanaume akitamani kumuona mpenzi wake akiwa amevalia nguo ya usiku inayomtia hamasa ya mapenzi ama kumuona akiwa hajavaa chochote! Anahitaji kumuona mpenzi wake vema hivyo kumuona akiwa katika vazi lisilompa nafasi hiyo kunamkwaza.

Hapa kosa kubwa lipo miongoni mwa wanawake wengi ni kuwa “ Ameshaniona mwili wangu zaidi ya mara 1000.” Hivyo kwao kumpa nafasi mwenza wake kuuona mwili wake hakuna umuhimu.

Kimsingi wanawake wa namna hii ndio mara nyingi hujikuta waume zao pindi wanaporejea nyumbani huishia sebuleni na kusoma gazeti. Anajihisi kuchoka, hahitaji mkewe ama mtoto amsumbue na akikalibishwa mezani kwaajili ya chakula huongea maneno yasiyozidi kumi.

Hufanya haya yote si kwa sababu anamchukia mkewe la hasha bali hugeuka kuwa mbinafsi anayetaka kutumia muda wake kujipumzisha na kufikiria mahitaji yake na si ya mwenza wake.

Hatua hiyo ikijitokeza baina ya wapendanao mambo huharibika, hamasa ya mapenzi kwa mmoja wao hutoweka kwani inapofika wakati wa kwenda kujipumzisha kitandani. Mwanaume anapomuona mwenza wake akitoka bafuni akiwa na kanga moja iliyomshika vema maungo yake, mapigo ya moyo na damu humuenda mbio akitamani kumkumbatia bibie ili apate kitu roho inapenda!

Wakati mwanaume akiwaza hayo, mambo huwa tofauti kwa mwanamke kwani hutawaliwa na maswali kadhaa kama “ Hivi ni kweli ananipenda? Namashaka. Haongei nami wala kunisaidia kwa lolote. Anachotaka ni kunitumia kama chombo cha starehe tu huyu.”

Hivyo basi, mwanamke atamuachia mwenza wake mwili autumie atakavyo kutimiza haja zake, lakini hatafika kilele kamwe kwani hatahisi anapendwa bali anatumiwa kama chombo cha starehe.

Hata hivyo, pindi mwanaume atakapokuwa akijipa raha toka kwa mwenza wake huyo, atatawaliwa na woga kwa sababu ataona wazi kuwa bibie hafurahii tendo la ndoa. Hivyo atajiuliza maswali mengi “ Kwa nini nimeshindwa kumpagawisha mamaa? Je, nyeti yangu ni ndogo?”

Hapa ndipo mwanamke anapotakiwa kumueleza bayana kuwa, “ Uume wako upo sawa ila mawasiliano yako kwangfu ni finyu.”

Kimsingi mwanaume anaporudi toka kazini anapaswa kuzungumza na mwenza wake, kujenga urafiki naye, kumuoneshe kuwa anamjali na kuthamini utu wake na usimfanye ajione kama mtu baki.

Aidha, mwanaume anapaswa kumueleza mwenza wake kuwa, “ Unapokuwa kwenye jumuia, vaa nguo ambazo hazitaamsha hisia za mapenzi kwa watu baki, lakini unapokuwa nyumbani hakikisha unavaa nguo hizo kwaajili yangu tu.”

Kufanya hivyo kutamueleza mumeo kuwa, “unampenda yeye tu na wanaume wengine hawana nafasi katika moyo wako!

Mwisho nimalize kwa kusema kuwa, wanawake huamsha hisia za mapenzi kwa wanaume ambao huyapa kipaumbele mawasiliano, lakini mawasiliano hayo humpagawisha zaidi yakiwa ya kirafiki zaidi (fanya kama unawasiliana na rafiki yako, usiogope kumchombeza na utani inapobidi) na pia hukoshwa na wanaume wanaowajali.

Kwa upande wa mwanaume, yeye hisia zake huamka pindi anapoona shepu (wapo wanaopenda wenye figa za kibantu na wengine za kimiss).

Hivyo, kama mmefanikiwa kupata watoto wa wa kike hakikisheni mnawaeleza kuwa, nguo za aina fulani huamsha hisia za mapenzi kwa wanaume, kwa hivyo waache kuzivaa nyumbani hata mitaani kujiepusha na vishawishi.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Hivi ndivyo unavyoweza kuipata raha ya majambozi

Wanawake wengi hushindwa kuwaeleza wapenzi wao nini hasa huhitaji pindi wanapokuwa kwenye sita kwa sita na hii inaweza ikawa ni kwa sababu ya kushindwa kujiamini kama siyo uelewa mdogo wa vionjo vya majambozi, sababu nyingine ni kuwa wanawake wengi huamini kuwa wanaume huzisoma hisia za wapenzi wao pindi wanapowaandaa na mpambano jambo ambalo si kweli kwani wengi wao ni wabinafsi yaani gari ikikubali starta tu huanza safari hata bila kupima oil wala kuangalia kama maji yanatosha kwa kuianzisha safari.

Dada yangu huna sababu ya kusimuliwa kila siku raha ya mechi ni nini kam hujui mimi nakwambia ni bao! kama huamini ngoja Taifa Stars ifanye kweli kwenye mechi ya marudiano na Cameroon usikiye hizo kelele za Watanzania, hivyo ukitaka kufurahia mapenzi na mwenza wako faragha lazima ujue nini hasa hukupandisha mzuka wa kulianzisha kunako sita kwa sita.

Dada zangu, wadogo sina budi kuwaasa haya yafuatayo ili ukiwa faragha upagawe na mwenza wako siyo kila siku wewe uwe msindikizaji tu. Sasa endelea...

Jitowe hofu; endapo utaingia kwenye uwanja wa raha ukiwa na hofu ya aina yoyote amini hutaweza kuweka mawazo yako katika kile mnachokifanya, badala yake utakuwa ukiwaza jambo linalokutatiza. Mfano kama unawasiwasi na harufu inayotoka kwenye mambo yetu yale huna budi kuhakikisha unaingia bafuni na kujiweka safi kabla ya kuingia faragha na wapo wale wenzangu ambao wakiguswa vema kwenye maeneo yenye kumpandisha midadi tu basi haja huwatoka,sasa kama nawe ni miongoni chukua taadhali mapema kwa kwenda kujisaidia.

Yatambuwe maeneo ambayo ukiguswa mzuka unakupanda; hakika huwezi kufurahia majambozi kama wewe mwenye hujui maeneo gani hasa mzee akiyatumia vizuri katika maandalizai ya mpambano atakupagawisha. Kama hujui maeneo yapi hasa hukupa hamasa ya kutaka kufanya mapenzi basi jifanyie utafiti leo na ukibaini yafanyiye mazoezi ya vitendo na mwenza wako na kama unashindwa kuyatambua tuwasiliane.

Kamwe usimtegemee mwanaume pekee kuamsha hisia zako uwapo faragha; wanaume si wasomaji wazuri wa hisia hivyo ni rahisi kwao kutobaini nini hasa kinachoamsha hisia zako ya kutaka kula sukariguru hivyo kama unajua usisite kumuongoza kwenye maeneo hayo ili aweze kukupagawisha vinginevyo kila siku utabaki kusikia 'oh mapenzi raha bwana' usilaze damu jitoe akili mueleze bayana nini unataka akufanyiye uipate raha ambayo wengi wanadai kuipata toka kwa wenza wao.

Monday, October 12, 2009


Inasemekana kuwa asilimiakubwa ya wanawake huwa hawafikii kabisa kutokana na ama kutojua staili au kuwafikilia zaidi wanaume wawapo kwenye majamvozi hivyo basi kwa kutambua hili nimeamua kuwadondoshea staili mojawapo itakayowafanya nyote mfurahie majambozi na nyote mvishuhudie vilele vya mlima kilimanjaro. Sasa endelea mwanawane na kama imekugusa achia comment zako:-

Mkato wa kilokole uliorudufiwa

Huu ni mkao wa kizamani ambao naaamini kila aliye na mpenzi ashawahi kuudadavua kunako majamvozi ndio! Nani anabisha na kwa taarifa yako huu ni mkao maarufu sana kwa mlo wa usiku ambapo mimi hupenda kuuita mkato wa kilokile hahahahh.

Hata hivyo, mtumiaji wa mkao huu asipokuwa makini basi atajikuta akishindwa kumfikisha la azizi wake kwenye kilele cha Mlima Kilimanjaro.

Hivyo ili nyote muweze kufika safari yenu inabidi mwanamke awe makini kuhakikisha haachwi njiani na dereva (madereva wengi huwa na papara ya kufika kileleni na kuwasahau wenza wao) na mbaya zaidi huwaacha wakiwa na muhemko wa hali ya juu na hii ndio sababu mojawapo ya midume mingi kuliwa zao zabibu.

Mwanamke anapaswa kuwa mwepesi ili aweze kupata raha ambayo wengi huishiwa kusimuliwa na mashoga zao na mbaya zaidi wengi huongeza chumvi kuwarusha roho wenzao! Wepesi utakuwezesha wewe mwanamke pindi utakapokuwa umelala kifo cha mende kuinua miguu yaki juu huku ikiwa imeyengeneza alama ya V huko dereva akiwa tayari kwa kuianza safari, taratibu kunja sehemu ya magoti kisha yapeleke magoti yako kifuani na ili usichoke ama kuumia kwa zoezi hilo basi egesha miguu yako kwenye mabega ya dereva wako.


Mkao huu utamfanya dereva aweze kupachika gia apendavyo kwani kila atakapotupia gia mambo huwa shwari kabisa huvyo mwanamke anaweza kumuimbia ule wimbo ‘chukua chukua yote yako’ hahah watu wa enzi hizo wanaukumbuka mimi umenitoka ila leo nikienda baa mitaa ya kati nitamuuliza Dj ni wa nani wimbo huo kisha nitawanyetishia.

Hapa dereva anaweza kupata nafasi ya kukanyaga krachi hadi mwisho na akitoka huko anasugua k.s.m. (unganisha herufi zilizomiss) na kusugua kuta za K hali itakayomfanya mwanamke ajisikie raha ya ajabu na mwisho wa siku mwanamke atakuwa mmoja kati ya wachache wanaofanikiwa kuviona vilele vya mlima wa kilimanjaro kwa kushiriki tendo la ndoa!


Mazoezi ni muhimu ili kufanikiwa kumudu staili hii ambayo ni bab-kubwa, nimalize kwa kuwatakia kila la kheri katika kujaribu staili hii na kudadavua raha isiyo na kifani.

Friday, October 9, 2009

10 Sex Questions Every Woman Should Ask Herself

This advice, from ob-gyn and pleasure guru Hilda Hutcherson, M.D., could change your sex life—forever.

I’m an ob-gyn who travels the country lecturing about sex—but believe it or not, I haven’t always known how to enjoy my body. I had my first orgasm at 30, and now I consider it my job to make sure women don’t have to wait as long as I did. I got there by unlearning everything I’d been taught about sex.

I can remember being seven years old and hearing my mom spell “s-e-x” while talking to a friend on the porch of our house in Alabama. From her hushed tone, I knew she was talking about something very naughty. As I got older, I was told to “keep your panties up and your dress down,” common advice for Southern girls. (I was even instructed to scrub my “down there” quickly, lest I discover the pleasure that bathing could bring.) I dutifully saved my virginity for marriage and didn’t like sex once I had it. I faked orgasms for years. I’d hear friends talk about doing this or that in bed and looking forward to getting their partners naked and I’d wonder, What the heck is wrong with me?

Why I ever decided to become an ob-gyn I can’t tell you, but I’m so glad I did—in part because it was my patients who helped snap me out of my pleasureless fog. They asked me questions about sex, not just vaginas or babies. I remember one patient asked, “Is anal sex safe?” My first thought was “That’s illegal in Alabama!” but I gave the best answer I could. It became clear that I needed to learn more about sexuality—for my patients and for me. I started by reading everything I could get my hands on: sex therapy textbooks, magazine articles, sex manuals like The Joy of Sex. I’d seen plenty of other women’s private parts, but never my own, so—yep—I grabbed a mirror and took a look. When that first orgasm happened, it wasn’t some skilled loverboy who showed me how; it was me. As I got more comfortable with my body, I actually wanted to share it with someone else—and my next sexual experiences were, well, pretty damn fantastic. Today, I’ve been married for 20 years and have a fulfilling and adventurous sex life. Having made my own transformation from prude to sex expert, I want to help other women get the satisfaction they deserve. By the time you’ve finished this (very personal!) self-survey, your eyes will be open to what’s really going right, and wrong, for you in bed. May the rest be X-rated history.

1. What do I really think about sex?

We women are supposed to be so empowered these days—in command of our careers, our bank accounts and our sex lives. But if you grew up in a home that taught you sex was shameful, those old messages could be living on in your subconscious, mucking things up in the bedroom. They certainly did for me. To start tackling my sexual baggage, I made a list of all the negative messages I’d received about sex and then wrote positive ones next to them: “Only bad girls enjoy sex” became “Every girl deserves to enjoy sex.” Then, when one of those old thoughts entered my mind—in bed or out of it—I had a positive one ready to replace it with. It actually turned into a fun bedroom game that served a dual purpose: getting me over my hang-ups and getting me in the mood.

2. Do I know my parts as well as I do his?

A common lament I hear from women is “He can’t find my clitoris.” We expect men to know where the sweet spot is, but can we give them much more than basic directions? The pea-size tissue you see between the labia is the tip of the iceberg—the full clitoris fans out deep into the pelvis. I often give couples a lesson I call Clitoris 101. The basic premise? Don’t go straight for the “pea.” It has so many nerve endings that stimulating it before you are fully aroused can be uncomfortable. Instead, touching the labia and rim of the vagina and putting pressure on the mound where hair grows first boosts blood flow to the entire area, giving more pleasure and stronger orgasms. Ignoring all the stuff around the “pea” is like touching just the head of a man’s penis. (What man wouldn’t gently correct us if we tried that?)
3. What’s my express route to orgasm?

Where does it feel most natural to be touched? What speed or pressure works best for you? Is there a go-to fantasy (oh, yes sir, Officer…) that brings you to climax like clockwork? If you can’t rattle off the answers to these questions, figure them out—knowing how to give yourself pleasure is key to being able to enjoy yourself with someone else. One patient of mine found that her best masturbation fantasy was a menage a trois with two men; another figured out that touching herself felt best when she lay on her stomach. Once you know exactly what gets you there, you can show your partner—or just let your mind wander back to it when you need a little push over the edge.
4. Do I ever let him do all the work?

Hopefully, the answer is yes—you deserve to get as good as you give. But so many women think their partner’s pleasure is more important than their own. One patient told me she’d read everything written about fellatio, and even when her partner was trying to please her, she was distracted, thinking about what tricks she’d use on him next. Enough’s enough. You know how satisfied it makes you feel when you give your partner a really good time? He’ll feel the same way if you lie back and let him do it for you.
5. Am I OK with my body?

The way you feel about your body directly and profoundly affects your sexuality. One woman I treated had always had a satisfying sex life—until she had a baby. Then she felt fat, hated the new shape of her breasts and missed her prebaby abs. And when her husband touched her in those vulnerable places, she’d push his hands away. Eventually, she started avoiding sex altogether. It may sound corny, but I told her to buy a journal and record in it one positive thing about her body every day. When a month had passed and she hadn’t run out of things to write, she finally accepted the truth: Her body was worth appreciating, and satisfying, just as it was. (Exercise helps too— it produces chemicals that can actually ramp up sex drive and arousal.)

6. Do I have sex for the right reasons?

I’ve handed my office Kleenex box to too many women who felt empty, sad or lonely after a sexual experience. Bad sex with someone you love is one thing—sex that makes you feel bad about yourself is another thing altogether. The latter almost always happens when the circumstances that got you into bed in the first place are overly complicated. Take a minute to remember the last few times you had sex and why you did it—and then, this is key, think about the quality of the sex in each of those cases. Great reasons to have sex: You want to connect; you’re making up after a fight; it’s a celebration (wedding night, anniversary); you’re making a baby; you’re horny, pure and simple. Not-so-great reasons to have sex: You want him to stay the night; you want to avoid a fight; you want someone to love you; you’re afraid he’ll leave you if you don’t. Think about it. Sex is always better and more deeply satisfying when your motivation for doing it is simple and healthy.
7. Can I rank my top five touch-me zones?

For a truly fulfilling sex life, a woman needs to discover the pleasure spots that aren’t covered by her undies. One of my patients found that nipple stimulation alone could bring her to orgasm. Another found a soft, sensitive point on the backs of her knees that made her crazy. I’ve got a spot behind my right ear that makes my toes curl. Your assignment: Start exploring on your own, with a feather, a vibrator, your hands, whatever, and find your top five most touchable spots. You’ve got to come up with at least five. Then show them to your partner so he can push your buttons better.
8. Do I have “vagina anxiety”?

I’ve lost track of how many patients have come into my office anxious about the size or length of their labia, or the way they smell or taste. In fact, one of the most common questions I get is “Am I normal down there?” As 1970s as it sounds, I recommend using a mirror to have a peek, like I did. Otherwise, just take my word for it: Unless you’re fighting chronic infections or have labia so large that it hurts to wear underwear, you are normal. And whether you agree or not, men think we’re pretty darn good-looking down there—I hear it from my patients’ husbands and boyfriends all the time. Still, no matter what men think, you need to learn to like your sexual parts. If that means blowing this month’s shoe budget on a Brazilian wax, fine—whatever works for you. Me? I go for gorgeous underwear. There’s nothing like wearing La Perla to make me want to take off my La Perla.

9. What does my face look like five minutes after sex?

Get up and look at yourself in the bathroom mirror after sex. Are you flushed, spacey-looking, smiling? Or are you frowning a little, furrowing your brow, distracted? Sometimes we need to ask our bodies, not our brains, if we like sex—the mind can justify so-so experiences, but your face in the mirror at 2 A.M. can’t lie. And if you don’t like what you see? Climb back into bed and get yourself some sleep already! You can wait till morning to ask yourself question number 10, which might well change everything….
10. Have I told him 90 percent* of this stuff?

(*The other 10 percent can stay between you and your Sevens.) When it comes to talking to your partner, my advice is simple: Tell him what makes you the crazy-wonderful sexual being you are, and ask him to give your crazy-wonderful naked body exactly what it needs. You request exactly what you crave from waiters all the time—salad instead of fries, fizzy water, extra sauce—so why not do the same with your lover? Believe me, he’ll give you what you want—you’re a big tipper!

Thursday, October 8, 2009


Hakika ni muda mrefu tokla brazatk mada jamvini kuandika mana zaidi marafiki na meseji za mapenzi ndizo nilizokuwa nabandika, lakini leo nimeamua kuadnika sehemu ya pili ya mada hii ya jinsi ya kujinadaa na mapenzi ambayo niliahidi kuimalizia bila kufanya hivyo.

Mada hii niliiandika na kuishia njia lakini leo nimeimalizia na ili kuwanufaisha wadau wote waliowahi kuisoma na ambao hawajawahi kuisoma nimeanza na sehemu ya kwanza na kisha kuendelezea sehemu ya pili na ya mwisho ili kila atakayesoma apate kuelewa!

Nakutakia usomaji mwema mdau wa blog hii na usisite kutoa maoni yako ama kuuliza chochote kuhusiana na masuala ya yote ya blog hii.

Wapenzi na wanandoa wengi hivi leo wanapoingia kitandani tayari kwa kuianza safari ya kupeana haki zao za msingi hushindwa kufurahia tendo na hasa hali hii hujitokezwa kwa wanawake kwani mwanaume huwa na haraka iliyopitiliza!

Mwanaume atamkumbatia na kumbusu mwanamke kwa muda mfupi na kabla hata hamasa ya mapenzi ya mwanamke ahaijashika hatama, atamwingilia na ndani ya dakika sekunde ama dakika zisizozidi 3, mwanamme hufika mshindo.

Katika hali ya kusikitisha baada ya mwanaume kujitosheleza hujongea pembeni bila kujali mwenza wake hajafika mwisho wa safari hali inayosababisha mwanamke kupoteza hamu ya tendo endapo endapo tabia hiyo ya mwanaume itaendelea.

Kunahatua nne muhimu ambazo wapendanao wakizishika na kuzitekeleza ipasavyo basi watafanikiwa kujitosheleza kila wanapokutana na kwa hakika watakuwa miongoni mwa watu wachache wanaofurahia faragha kila wakutanapo!

Hatua ya kwanza ni kusameheana:
Wanandoa wengi hushindwa kupata raha ya mlo wa usiku kutokana na kushindwa kumaliza tofauti zao kabla ya giza halijaingia, mgogoro wowote baina ya wapendanao ni lazima umalizwe kabla ya kukutana kwa ajili ya mlo wa usiku. Hii husaidia kuondoa kinyongo miongoni mwao na kuwafanya mioyo yao igubikwe na upendo ambao humfanya ahamasike kunako majambo!

Hivyo basi endapo unataka kufurahia mambo fulani hakikisha unamaliza tofauti, ombaneni msamaha na samehaneni kwa dhati kwani kwa kufanya hivyo kutawasaidia muwapo faragha kufurahia kile mnachokifanya kwa kuwa mtakuwa mmemalzia tofauti zenu.

Hatua ya pili ni mchezo ya mahaba:
Mashamsham hunoga na kupamba moto kiasi cha kumfanya yoyote aliye kwenye uwanya wa raha kusahau kwa muda shida na matatizo yanayomuandama pale anapokutana an mtu anayeweza kumpagawisha kwa michezo ya mahaba kabla ya kuianza safari yenyewe!
Michezo hii husaidia kuamzsha hamasa na muhemko baina ya wapendanao, hivyo ili wapendanao waweze kufika mwisho wa safari pamoja na kila mmoja alidhike na udereva wa mwenzake uliowafikisha safari yao lazima watumiye muda wakutosha katika michozo yakimahaba!

Hata hivyo kila mmoja wenu anapaswa kuujua mwili wa mwenza wake. Mwili wa mwanaume ni rahisi kuuelewa kwani una sehemu moja kuu ambayo ni kama kiini cha muhemko na msisimko wa mapenzi. Sehemu hiyo ni uume. Hivyo endapo mwanamke yoyote atatumia muda wakutosha kuhangaika na sehemu hiyo basi mambo huwa safi kwa upande wa mwanaume.

Mwili wa mwanamke una shughuli pevu kubaini sehemu zenye ambazo huamsha hisia za mapenzi na ndiyo maana wanaume wengi hushindwa kuwafikisha mwisho wa safari wapenzi wao. Kiini cha hisia za mapenzi kwa mwanamke ziko kwenye kipegere G (namaanisha critoris wadu, haya ni mambo ya infenizimu tu). Kipegere G kipo nje ya uke ambapo wataalamu hudai kuwa kipo sentimita 4 kutioka ukeni.

Wanaume wengi wanaelewa hili lakini walio wengi wamegubikwa na imani potofu kuwa, kwa kuingiza kidole ukeni watafanikiwa kuinua hamasa ya za wenza wao kutaka kuanzisha safari jambo ambalo si kweli, kwani wanawake wengi hujisikia vibaya kuingizwa vidole ukeni kutokana na ukweli kwamba kucha zinabeba uchafu na bakteria wengi ambao huwasababishia kupata fangasi!

Hivyo basi, endapo wewe ni miongoni mwa wanaume waliokuwa wakiaminin dhana hii nataka nikujulishe kuwa, ukitaka kumpa msisimko uliotukuka mwenza wako usiangaike kuingiza kidole chote ukeni badala yake hakikisha unatumia kidole chako (hakikisha si kikavu) kucheza na sehemu ya nje ya uke ambapo utakutana na kipegere G na lips za ndani. Hata hivyo usisahamu kuhangaika na uke pia lakini hasa shughulika na sehemu za nje!

MUHIMU KUJUA: Mwanaume huahamasika kwa sekunde kadhaa lakini mwanamke humchukua takriban dakika 20 kuweza kuamsha hisia zake na kumfanya awe tayari kwa kuianza safari! Hivyo, mwanaume mwenye busara yaani asiye mbinafsi huakikisha anatumia muda wakutosha kumuuanda mwenza wake kabla ya kuanza safari! Hivyo mwanaume anapaswa kunza michezo ya mahaba kwa kuzingatia hatua tatu muhimu ambazo ni:-

Sehemu ya juu:

Wanume wengi kutokana ana haraka zao hukimbilia sehemu ya chini ya mwili wa mwanamke yaani kunako na kuanza ama kupapasa kwa kidole chake ama ulimi na baada ya sekunde chache huanza kumwingilia mwanamke, lakini mwanaume mwenye kumjali ampendaye na mwenye nia hasa yakumfikisha kwenye kilele cha raha huwa hana papara huhakikisha anamhagi na kumpiga mabusu sehemu ya juu ya mwili wake yaani mdomoni, shingoni, kwenye matiti, chuchu etc.

Hata hivyo, si wanawake wote wako sawa, kuna amabo hufurahia kutomaswa maziwa yao huku wengine wakichukizwa kutokana na sababu mbalimbali kwa mfano kama mwanaume ni mtu wamitungi ama mvuta sigara mara nyingi kinywa chake hutoa harufu mbaya hivyo huwa vigumu kwa mwanamke asiyependezewa na matumizi ya vitu hivyo kufurahia kupigwa denda!

Kimsingi mwanamke kama kweli unampenda mpenzi wako na unataka ufurahie majambozi anayokupa hakikisha unakuwa muwazi kwa kuanza na kumuonyesha sehemu zinazokupa hamasa ya kufanya mapenzi, si lazima ushike mkono wake na kuupeleka kunako hiyo sehemu!

Hakikisha pindi mwanaume anapokugusa sehemu inayokusisimua unamwonyesha wazi kuwa hapo unasikia utamu yaani kama miguno ilikuwa haitoki hakikisha inaanza toka, kama pumzi zilikuwa zatoka kawaida basi zianze toka isivyo kawaida, nachomaanisha hapa ni kuwa unapaswa kuonyesha umepagawa kwa raha unayopata basi kwa mwanaume aliye kamili hatasita kuishughulikia kikamilifu sehemu hiyo!

Sehemu ya chini:
Baada ya kumtomasa kiasi cha kutosha sehemu ya juu ya mwanamke, mwanamke huhitaji kutomaswa sehemu ya chini na hapa ndipo ambapo unaweza kuhisi anataka kuingilia mana huanza ama kujishikasiika sehemu za chini ama hukupeleka maeneo yake nyeti upate kumwingilia kwani huwa amehamasika na ilim kujua kama amaehamasika basi uke wake huwa unamajimaji ambayo hutoka kwa ajili ya kulainisha nyia ya kupita bwanamkubwa yaani uume.

Hata hivyo, ili mchezo uwe mtamu mwanaume anapaswa kuhakikisha anatumia dakika kadhaa kuuchezea uke na kufuatia kinena. Hapa ieleweke kuwa kuna wanawake baada ya mizuka kuwapanda hutokwa na majimaji mengi sehemu zao za siri hivyo endapo mwanaume ukikutana na hali hiyo usishutuke jua mzuka imempanda mpenzi wako tu na si vinginevyo!

Katika kuchezea sehemu zake za siri mwanaume anapaswa kujua kuwa kuna wanake wanapenda chezewa kinena pekee na wengine hupenda mwanaume atumie ulimi ama akidole chake (kisiwe kikavu) kuingiza ukeni huku kidole kingine kikitomasa kinena hali inayomsisimua mwanamke. Hivyo mwanamke anapaswa kuwa muwazi nini anapenda kufanyiwa!

Katika kipindi hiki mwanamke naye anatakiwa kutoa ushirikianao wa miguno na viuno vya hapa na pale kuashiria anapata raha na asisahau mptomasa mwanaume, lakini ikumbukwe kuwa mwanaume ana sehemu kuu moja inayomtia wazimu ambayo ni uume wake hivyo ni rahisi kwa mwanaume kufika mshindo hata kabla ya tendon a hapo ndipo tatizo huibuka kwani wengine baada ya tendo moja huwa hawana uwezo wakurudia mzunguko wa pili!

Nini mwanaume anapashwa kufanya sasa ili kuhakikisha hamalizi mzungoko haraka? Anapaswa kuwa muwazi kwa mwenza wake endapo mwenza wake atakuwa anamshika sehemu ambayo inamnyegesha sana na kumfanya ajisikie kumaliza biashara basi amueleze wazi kuwa aiache sehemu hiyo kwa muda ili uweze kudumu kunako majambozi!!

Hata siku moja msifanye mahaba kimya kimya! Simaanishi mpige mikelele hadi iwe kero kwa majirani na nk, elezenaneni kwa sauti za mahaba nini kila mmoja wenu anapenda mwenzi wake afanyiwe na mwenza wake.

Hatua ya tatu:

Kuingiliana kimwili
Mwanaume anapaswa kuahkikisha amasa za mapenzi za mwanamke zimeamka kabla ya kumwingilia. Wanaume wengi kutokana na papara hujikuta wanawaingilia wenza wao hata kabla hawajahamasika na hatimaye kumaliza tendo pasipo kuwafikisha kileleni na hili ni tatizo la kawaida kwa wapenzi wanaokutana kwa mara ya kwanza na has amwanamke akiwa na zile nataka sitaki yani atasumbuana na mwanaume weeeee na hatimaye hadi dume lifanikiwe kumwingilia kimwili inakuwa kama mbakano tu!

Hivyo basi, mwanaume unapaswa kujua kweli mpenzi wako yuko tayari kwa tendo la ndoa na utajua kwa kungalia kwanza mashavu ya uke wake kama yamekakamaa na kuongezeka ukubwa huku kinembe chake kikionyesha kukaza na mwanamke akifikia hali hii basi mwanaume huweza kuingiza uuume wake ambao umesimama kiurahisi kwani kuta za uke zitakuwa na ute unaoteleza huku uume nao ukiwa na ute unaotoka sehemu ya mbele kabisa hali inayowafanya wapendanao kufurahia tendo kwani hawataumizana!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Why do women hate other women?

1. Women feel that their biological prime-time is limited. She can easily be replaced by a new younger, more beautiful woman. Youth is a woman’s fair-weathered friend.

2. Women feel that other women control their man’s sexual fidelity.

3. Women feel that their level or degree of physical beauty is based on luck as opposed to something that she controls.

4. Women feel that other women can take something that they have worked hard to earn by using their beauty on the job, school and the legal system because men will be taken by her beauty.

5. Women feel that other women can not be trusted. They gossip too much, they are phony and they would take your man right before your eyes.

6. Women feel that other women divert attention away from them.

7. Women feel psychologically competitive with other women to be more attractive.

8. Women subconsciously believe that if they merely looked like another woman, they could inherit her life, her diamond, her man, and people would look at her with the same admiration.

The following dialogue was edited from a variety of websites discussing how women relate to each other:

Points to Ponder:

• You can never stop a man from looking at or admiring another woman’s beauty. Do you really feel that another woman is more valuable as human being than you are simply because of her physical appearance?

• You are more than your physical body. What talents, gifts or skills do you have to contribute to society?

• You can not control what other people think of you. Once you truly accept the truth that you have no control over other people’s thoughts about who you are or how you should live your life; you will be free to design your own life from the inside out.

• You can never compete with anyone but yourself.

• The only person who you can control is yourself…period.

• Whatever you seek in other people develop in yourself. You don’t need to marry a doctor; become a doctor.

• You are the most important person in the world who must believe, acknowledge and recognize your own authentic and unique beauty. Why should anyone love and respect you more than you love and respect yourself.

Monday, October 5, 2009

5 Mistakes Women Make by Ekene Agabu

We have heard it from our mothers, our aunts, our mentors, our sisters and a few female friends. But many of us are still left wondering what unbiased perspectives ‘they’ have.

‘They’. MEN.

Hear those wise words from one of them. I have been touched by this article and strongly believe it will strike (at least) a cord with many of you. It’s a long worthwhile read. Brace yourself for what I consider in numerous ways, THE RAW, PLAIN TRUTH from Ekene Agabu.



Before I begin or rather let you into what I have written, I must confess that I had completed this article months ago but was a bit apprehensive in publishing it. I didn’t want to come across as being judgmental and if after reading this you feel judged or put down as a woman, please excuse my unskilled delivery, for that is not my intent. And if you feel that I have crossed the line as a man in sharing these with you, do not hesitate to express your disdain for my impetus.

Having said that, I feel qualified to write this as a man because I stand as an unbiased observer and also one who has had the opportunity to take advantage of these mistakes. But I must confess, we as men have been @$$#*%*$ . Where we should have given, we took; where we should have loved, we lusted and where we should have preserved, we devoured. As a Man, I must call myself to higher standards. Before I touch you, I must respect you like my mother, protect you like my sister and look out for your best interest like my baby – after all, that’s what I call you when I want you! We’ve failed to realize that the significance of our masculinity does not lie in how many girls we can dis-virgin but rather the honor we can bestow upon one. We fail to understand that the purpose of our strength and dominance is to defend and protect not to attack and destroy.

But the first mistake was not yours. You were born into a world that didn’t even give you the chance – the chance to be who you really are without any pressure or expectation. From day one you were unconsciously groomed from childhood to be an acceptable accessory to a man’s life. You were constantly made conscious of a false milestone that suggested your value was based upon a man finding you worthy to be his, instead of being made aware of who you are by virtue of your own unique existence. Your worth as a woman was reduced to two things; being a wife and your ability to bear a child – and in some cultures, you had to bear the right type of child. And if per chance you failed in one of these areas, you were nobody, no one – you were nothing.

Unfortunately, along the way, you may have made some mistakes in trying to fulfill this false notion of who you are supposed to be. Bad relationship after bad relationship continually emphasized the lie that you were nothing without a man. Not only do you sit there as one with mental wounds from childhood, but also with hurts and wounds that are self inflicted as you sincerely tried to fulfill the so called destiny of the woman – being someone’s woman.

As I share this with you, I do not come as one who claims to understand your plight, but rather I stand as one who has heard you. From my mother to my aunts to my cousins and my friends, I have heard you and will continue to listen whenever you speak.

That being said, I do not believe we are responsible for the things that are done or said to us, but I do know that we are responsible for allowing those things continue in us. It’s in this light that I share with you the five common mistakes women make in relationships.

Your Personal Standards! Don’t leave home without them!

By not setting your standard, you’ve just set the standard. The standards I speak of are not standards for the relationship; I speak of your personal standards irrespective of the relationship. What is your life’s moral compass? This could get a bit confusing, so let me explain. Often times, at a certain point in life, people turn to religion for some sort of moral guidance or law. It’s an acknowledgment of some sort that they have made numerous personal mistakes and are in probable search for a turn around. So you might have a young lady who’s been around the block and has now become a Christian, and professes that she will be celibate until she gets married thereby claiming this new belief to be her standard. This is a religious belief that she has now adopted and not a personal standard. Your personal standards are born and realized from within you and become your principles rather than a law. A principle is born out of understanding; an understanding of who you are and why you are here on this earth. If you are roaming the earth like a lost sheep in search of a man to give you relevance, you will always find yourself jumping from relationship to relationship with each one leaving you even more confused than you were in the beginning. But when you understand that you are not here by chance and your presence on this earth has significant relevance, the aura about you changes and the people and things you accept into your life will only be a reflection of your internal essence or your personal standard. A man can cause you to go against a belief because it was never yours in the first place, but he can never sway you away from your principle because you are one with your principle. A lady who lives from her principles takes personal responsibility for her own actions and responses. She takes charge and never leaves her fate to the opinions or actions of men. She doesn’t go on a date with every man that asks her out because she doesn’t need a man – she would want a man but she fully well understands that her worth is solely appraised on who she is and not who she’s with. She would not change her principle to have or keep a man. She’s doesn’t need to sleep with a man to have or keep him. She understands that whatever she can’t get by way of her principles will never be her own. That you are sleeping with a guy does not mean he’s yours. If you had to sleep with him to keep him, he was never yours in the first place. In the absence of your personal standards, you end up trying many things and many people, but you never experience the love that is already within you. Allow that love within to write your standards and begin to live from them. That love will never lead you astray, never ever!

Why are you making excuses for him…again?

I have come to observe that ladies often see the man as the prize. So once it looks like they have him – especially if he appears to be a good one – they want to do everything in their power to keep him. I understand that, but I don’t accept that and neither should you. You are the Prize. We should fight over you and want to do things to get and keep you. We should want to make sure you are ok. A man who loves and respects a woman will never want her in doubt when it comes her knowing of his feelings towards her. When we are crazy about a woman, we are no longer the reserved and non emotional creatures you think we are. We become a mess – drooling internally when we think of you. We would never want you to feel you are on shaky ground concerning your status with us. We will publicly profess and show you to the whole world. We will put up a picture with you in it as the our profile pic, tag you in all photos you appear in and most importantly make sure that our status box shows that we are in a relationship with you. Yup, that’s what we do when we love you – we say it out LOUD! And when we are out and about with you, our professions are usually crystal clear: ‘Meet my girlfriend, Sandra’ or ‘Meet my fiance, Sandra.’ Not, ‘Meet Sandra’ who is Sandra??? When we love you, we want the world to know that we love you. But I get amazed when ladies see the writing on the wall and continually make excuses to justify a man’s blatant abuse towards them. What do I mean? Take for instance the introductions highlighted above; He introduces you as just ‘Sandra’: you know you don’t like it, but you make an excuse within yourself and say, ‘he’s a private kinda guy, he doesn’t like to publicly show stuff.’ Really? Ok, let me ask, “Are you enrolled in midnight gymnastics with him?” In other words has he bent your body in ways you didn’t think possible? Well, there is only one thing worse than a guy sleeping with a woman in secret; and that is, a woman allowing that to happen. Before you allow a man do to you privately what can affect you publicly, he must first of all acknowledge you publicly as the woman he respects and loves. If he can’t do that, you need to tell me why you are still sticking around. How can you allow a man to knock you up when you are just ‘Sandra’ to him? You know you deserve better, so stop the excuses. Instead of making excuses for him, take charge – not of him or the relationship, but of yourself. Never remain in an environment where your integrity is compromised. Remember, you are the prize and we should work hard to get and keep you. And after all our hard work, you still have a right to say NO.

Why are you looking for ‘something’ in a bag of ‘nothings?’

A few years ago, a friend who was engaged was getting ready for her wedding which was just a couple of months away at the time. She called me occasionally during the preparation process, but on this one phone call, things were pretty bad. She was mad, upset, disappointed and unhappy that she was marrying this guy. So I asked her why she was still going on with the wedding if she felt the marriage wouldn’t work out. She said to me that she did not want the last four years of her life spent with him to go to waste. Hmmm! When she said this, I looked at my phone because I couldn’t look at her (she was in a different city) and in that instant – if I had a private jet – I would have flown to her city to give her a knock on her head – not a hard one, just a gentle knock – to help tilt her brain back to the center of her skull, because obviously it seemed out of balance with what she had just said to me. Let’s think about this, You are willing to screw up the next 50 years of your life, create babies in a hostile environment with a man you despise thereby screwing up the next generation, raising kids that would need therapy for the rest of their lives based on the abuse they will experience in that home, all because you don’t want the last four years of your life – 1,2,3,4 – to mean nothing (I’m having a headache just rehashing this story). So you are trying to create a love marriage from a four year crappy relationship. Needless to say, this lady was a young beautiful 28yr old lawyer. With good life habits she could easily live another healthy 50 years (Have you seen Barbara Walters lately? She’s 80). And here you are, willing to mortgage your future on four years with this jerk? She was desperately trying to make something out of nothing. That you’ve been in a long term relationship does not mean you should continually stay in it. Unfortunately for some ladies, it takes a while to see the light and muster up courage to get out of a bad situation. But when you see the light; RUN, GO, your life deserves it. If you don’t make that change, you’ll never know what’s out there? And when I say out there, I don’t mean what’s out there in another relationship; I mean what’s out there in you that you are yet to discover. Some of you ladies are afraid – afraid that you might not be married by a certain time. You begin the calculations, ‘Ok, I’m 28 now, if I break this up, how long will it take to find another guy and get married? Oooh! It may take another 4 years and I’ll be 32. No! I can’t be single at 30.” You are killing yourself with this kind of dialogue. Like she later said to me, she always saw herself married by 29. Needless to say, she was divorced by 29. They got married alright, but their divorce was made final before a possible 1st wedding anniversary. Sometimes we allow fear to dictate what we should do. We will never get from fear what love has to give. Love is bold, confident and fearless. Why are you scared? Why are you letting fear keep you in a relationship that you know you don’t want? Why do you want to marry a guy who has already made you feel like trash? Why are you choosing to be with someone you are not crazy about? Ok, so you are more concerned about looking good and successful on the outside at the expense of how you truly feel on the inside. You are too special for that. Let people think what they think, you know what you know and that’s all that should matter. Sometimes, we don’t believe; we don’t believe in ourselves, so we settle and then try to make something out of nothing. You can’t change another human being, it’s impossible. You haven’t even changed some things about yourself; how then do you think it possible to change another?

You’ve gotta think before you have his baby!

Often times when I’m in conversation with one of my numerous lady friends, something always cracks me up. I know they been having sex for years in and out of relationships and that fact is not hidden between us. But on some occasions, when I ask them if they have been pregnant before, their voice takes on a new tone of ‘How dare you?’ And then there is a resounding NO, like, ‘how could I get pregnant?’ Wait a minute! Am I missing something here? If you are having sex – sexual intercourse, you are potentially making a baby. You are filing an application. As soon as he ejaculates into you, the application is submitted and the outcome of that process is no longer left to you or him but to the Department of Conception. And if they approve it, you become pregnant whether you want it or not. Sex is not just about the pleasure derived, neither is it an antidote for loneliness. Sex is Responsibility; meaning you will have to respond to the outcome of that sexual encounter and sometimes it could be a lifetime of responses especially when a child is conceived. And when that child is born, you will forever have a symbol representing your union with your ex. Once a child is conceived, there is no moving on from that relationship. It begins the strongest bond known between a man and a woman. That man holds a special place in your heart regardless of how you feel about him today. You may have an abortion in trying to cut any future ties to this man, but may I have you know that the power of conception outweighs the power of birth. For something to be born, it has to be conceived. We are all on this earth first because of conception then birth. Without conception, there will be no birth but without birth there can be conception. A strong bond is created when you allow a man’s sperm to start life within you. It is a major privilege to give to someone and not everyone should have that kind of access to you. If a man is horny and wants to be relieved, tell him to use his hand. You are no object and certainly no substitute for a man’s hand. So if you don’t want to have his baby, don’t make his baby.

I know there’s Pressure, but why are you under it?

I have come to observe that whether she’s 21 or 29, she always feels she’s running out of time. One thing you must understand is that pressure is not real. You are real and when you give attention to or come under the dominance of something that is impotent, you give it potency – you give it power. That is why this thing we call ‘pressure’ has the effect it has. You give it the effect. You are the effect. Sometimes we are driven by those voices of ignorance that may have come from people we love, so we try hard to get into a relationship and make it work. “Oh! This one has to work cos I’m almost 30.” Screw him and screw 30. You are more valuable to yourself and to the world than the timeline of your eggs or your age. Your world will not come to an end if you are not married by 30; in fact, it may just be beginning!

A few years ago, a lady friend of mine, who was 21 at the time called me up to talk about her ‘man’ troubles. During our conversation, I observed that she had always been in a sexual relationship since she was 15. She confessed to me that she didn’t want to be alone; actually she didn’t know how to be alone. You see, you do yourself a huge injustice when you spend your formative years interrupted. Sex interrupts. It stops your creative and intellectual development and gives strength to your emotional cravings which should still be asleep. Your formative years are years you spend forming your person and your identity in readiness for your service to the world. Unfortunately, ladies give that time and space to some guy – a guy who may not even be in your life past your 30th birthday.

Have we as men failed you? Oh yes we have! As fathers some of us weren’t present in your young life. As uncles, instead of being fond of you, we fondled you. As friends we were more focused on the benefits instead of the sacrifice. We used you when we should have added value. We took advantage instead giving the advantage. We failed you quite all right, but you don’t have to do to yourself what we did to you – You don’t have to fail yourself. You can’t afford to fail yourself. You are the door to humanity. Life has to go through you to enter this earth. Even God needed a woman to come back into the world.

There’s no need to dumb yourself down or compromise your true integrity. We need the true you. We can’t exist without you and we will adjust to whatever standard you set for us – so why not make it high, why not make it YOU?

Unadhani kwanini wanawake wengi hutoka nje ya ndoa zao?

Shoga zangu nalazimika kuandika mada hii kutokana na maneno ambayo nimeyasikia hivi karibuni baada ya mwanamke mmoja maeneo ya Manzese ambaye ni mke wa mtu kufumwa na mumewe akijinafasi na ‘buzi’ gesti. Lakini cha ajabu licha ya mwanamke huyo kufumaniwa, maneno aliyoyatoa hayakuwa ya busara kwani nilimsikia akimwambia mumewe hivi, “ Ulidhani nimekuja kwako kula, hata kwetu nilikuwa nakula pia sasa kama hunitimizii ulifikiri mimi nitafanya nini zaidi ya kutafuta atakayeniridhisha, utalijua jiji”...

Nilishtuka kidogo kusikia maneno hayo lakini pia nikajiuliza sababu hasa za wanawake wengi siku hizi kufikia uamuzi wa kuwasaliti waume zao? Je, ni kutokana na kutoridhishana katika tendo la ndoa baina ya wanandoa? Kwa kweli mimi kama binadamu sikufurahishwa na maneno aliyoyatoa mwanamke yule kwa mume wake kwani naamini hakuwa sahihi.

Hivi kama mumeo hakuridhishi katika majambozi, suluhisho ni kutoka nje ya ndoa? Sidhani kwamba hayo ni maamuzi sahihi. Ila sasa baada ya tukio hilo nilikaa chini na kujaribu kufanya utafiti ili kubaini sababu ambazo zimekuwa zikisababisha wanawake wengi kuzisaliti ndoa zao. Huenda zikawepo nyingi lakini kwa haraka haraka nitazielezea tatu kuu.

Moja kati ya sababu hizo ni tamaa za kijinga zinazowatawala baadhi ya wanawake. Tamaa hasa ya pesa imekuwa ikiwashawishi baadhi ya wanawake kushindwa kujizuia kuwasaliti wapenzi wao. Kwa wale ambao wako kweye ndoa wakati mwingine hasa wanawake wasipopatiwa mahitaji yao muhimu na akatokea jamaa na kumhakikishia kumpatia kila anachotaka, wanakubali mara moja bila kujua kwamba wao ni wake za watu ama wapenzi wa watu na kujikuta wanajenga mazoea.

Lakini sasa cha kushangaza ni kwamba, wengine wanapatiwa kila kitu na waume zao lakini kinachotokea ni tamaa za kimwili tu ambazo zinawasumbua na kujikuta wanatafuta wanaume wengine ili mradi tu amepata ladha tofauti. Hili si kwa wanawake tu hata wanaume pia, unaweza kumkuta ana mke mzuri tu mwenye kila kigezo, lakini bado anakuwa na tamaa za kutafuta kimwana mwingine nje.

Pia wapo wanandoa ambao wanaishi maisha ya ajabu sana, yaani wanaishi katika ndoa lakini hawaaminiani kabisa, kila mtu anakuwa na wasiwasi juu ya mwenzake.


Thursday, October 1, 2009

Wachina Watambulisha Bikira Feki! Makubwaa

Baada ya kutoa dawa za kuongeza ukubwa wa makalio na mapaja ya wanawake, Wachina wametoa vifaa vinavyotumika kama bikira feki ambazo zimeanza kuzua mtafaruku mkubwa kwenye nchi za kiarabu.

Wachina hawajachoka kuzindua dawa na vifaa vya kuwapa urembo feki dada zetu na sasa wamekuja na vifaa vinavyotumika kama bikira feki.

Vifaa hivyo vina soko zaidi kwenye nchi za kiarabu kwani kwa mujibu wa tamaduni za nchi hizo mwanamke anayeolewa akiwa hana bikira huonekana ni muhuni na huitia aibu familia yake.

Katika nchi za kiarabu si jambo geni ndoa kuvunjika siku ya harusi baada bwana harusi kula tunda kwa mara ya kwanza na kukuta tunda lake likiwa limeishadokolewa wengine.

Bikira hizo feki zina uwezo wa kutoa damu bandia wakati wa kujamiiana na hivyo kumwezesha bi harusi ambaye hana bikira ya kweli, kuzuga kama vile bikira yake ndio inavunjwa kwa mara ya kwanza.